Love is War

Re-blog from my other blog, "Speaking 4 Life." Here's a thought on marriage and relationships.

I was at Oktoberfest at my church earlier this month and a small, insignificant disagreement arose between my wife and I. Immediately one of our friends asked, "Is there anything you two don't argue about?" Firstly, I'd like to point out that a disagreement between two people doesn't automatically mean that they are arguing. Secondly, the word "argument" is not rightly understood because in no definition of the word is there any hint of malice or anger, just a debate, difference of opinion, or rationale.

But here's something that most people don't seem to understand: all marriages will come with arguments (as in disagreements, not the angry kind). That's because we are all individuals with opinions, likes, dislikes, and whatnot. It's when those disagreements become angry and hate-filled that we have a problem (and yes, every marriage will have experienced a slamming door at one point). The real question is how do you handle those situations and how do you move past them?

Do you hold on to grudges or do you forgive each other? Do you want to mold your spouse into your vision of him/her or do you accept him/her for who she is? Do you work at the marriage or do you just give up? Sometimes there is no hope because the other person doesn't want to listen or change, but do you have no patience and move on too quickly?

I wanted to share this song with an interesting theme: love is war, but it's worth fighting for. 

Moderates Only Want Compromise if It's Their Way

I admit it. I would be considered ultra conservative in my political beliefs. I believe in the US Constitution, the rule of law, smaller governnment, states' rights, individual liberty but life lived in community, and I am a social conservative.

I lean right on almost every issue. Recently, I had an interesting conversation with some colleagues who are more moderate. Their position is that the Republicans need to rally behind one person in the next presidential election or they will lose again. Of course, their idea was that a moderate candidate is the one who will lead the way.

I believe that the Republicans need someone who will stand for something and not compromise his/her morals just to get elected, even if he/she is seen to be more rightist than centralist. Let's get something straight, in the last two presidential elections, I believe the Republicans did settle for moderate/centrist candidates. I went the party line and voted for them...and they lost. Maybe it's time for someone who is not a centrist to be the Republican candidate for president...maybe Sen. Ted Cruz, Dr. Ben Carson, or Rep. Michele Bachmann (may favorite three currently although I'd vote for Sarah Palin or Alan Keyes in a heartbeat).

The problem is, my colleagues kept espousing the need to get behind one candidate as long as the candidate was a moderate/centrist. They both balked at the idea of voting for a conservative/rightist. So even though I've compromised and voted centrist in order to try to get a Republican president elected, they wouldn't vote for a rightist to achieve the same goal.

In fact, one person said she would vote for Hilary Clinton if Clinton were to be the Democratic candidate for president versus a rightist Republican like Cruz. I guess the moderate Republicans will only compromise if it's their candidate.

What You're Used To

I grew up in New York City and have walked around Manhattan at some strange hours of the night but I've never felt out of place or worried. Last night (Sunday), I was walking around a part of Washington, D.C., that was mostly office buildings and it felt a little creepy. It wasn't that late at night, only 7:00 p.m., but the sun had set and the were few cars around. There were people walking and running, but it didn't feel quite right.

I guess it's just what you're used to that makes the difference.

No Hotels in NYC Good Enough?

My wife and I enjoy watching a show called "Unforgettable" on CBS. It premiered in the 2011-12 TV season but lost its way in the middle and we thought it would be gone for good, but it has now reappeared as a summer series in 2013. This isn't meant to be a review of the show, but I wanted to give a little background so you'll know why I'm a little upset with the producers of the show.

The show is a police procedural drama that was originally set in Queens but now takes place in Manhattan (boroughs of New York City). In the latest episode that we watched from Season 2, "Incognito" (episode 2), the lead character Carrie Wells (Poppy Montgomery) goes undercover to meet a team of bank robbers who will meet in a swanky NYC hotel called the "Alcazar Hotel."

Screen shot from "Incognito."

At 14:08 of the episode, we see brief footage of the "Alcazar" as Carrie is going there for the meeting. Here's my beef: why did they have to use an outside b-roll shot of the Mayflower Renaissance Hotel in Washington D.C. as a stand-in for the fictitious Alcazar?

Don't get me wrong, I've stayed at the Mayflower and I love the old school charm of the hotel and the guest rooms, but surely the producers could have found a nice, upscale hotel in NYC to be the stand-in. Aren't there any hotels in NYC that are good enough for the show?

In any case, here are the two things that gave it away: the Washington, D.C. flag on the right of the screen shot; and the Red Top Cab flashing by in the foreground.

Washington, D.C. flag

Red Top Cab of Arlington

My wife hates it when I spot errors like this in the shows and movies we watch but I can't help it. I love the details and sometimes it just thrills me to catch the mistakes, especially continuity errors.

By the way, if you're planning a visit to Washington D.C. and you're looking for a little history in your lodging, check out the Mayflower Renaissance, you'll enjoy it.

Mayflower Renaissance Hotel

Rental Cars are Evil

Well, not the cars themselves but the emotions they can evoke. Don't get me wrong, I love my Mazda3 at home; even with 60,000 miles, a dent here, and a ding there. However, I just spent a week driving a new Maxima withonly 3,700 miles on it and still with that new car smell.

All I can think of is how great it was to have the push-button door locks and "Start" button...never had to take the remote out of my pocket! I also loved the feeling of being in a big car and I think to myslef, "Wouldn't it be nice to get a new car?"

But I had to return it. And now I will go home to happily drive my Mazda again. But for a moment, a shiny new rental car caused me to covet something and that's why they're evil.

People Watching in the Classroom

This is the first day of six that I'm spending on the campus of Trinity International University in Deerfield, Illinois. The study includes a class in bioethics and the annual Center for Bioethics and Human Dignity conference. There are 17 students and we're in a large classroom that's set up for 80.

What's interesting is how you can tell those who are new grad students who just got their bachelor's degrees and are young and eager from those who are older and maybe not as eager. My key to knowing the difference? The young ones are sitting in the first row right next to each other while the "more experienced" ones are further back in the classroom with at least one empty seat between each other.

Well, after listening to student introductions, it appears that four students are actually undergrad students doing a dual degree. Ambitious, they are. :)

Updated: July 15, 2013

Simple Pleasures in Life

Early morning takeoff at DFW.

I recently stayed at the Hyatt Regency DFW International Airport with my wife for a three day convention. We had a great view of the runways on the eastern side DFW, 17R/35L and 17C/35C. On the day we left, we had a little extra time on our hands before our flight departed, so my wonderful wife let me indulge in a simple pleasure: riding the airside Skylink terminal connector all the way around the airport.

Skylink photo from DFW website.

Growing up in NYC, one of my favorite things to do as a kid was to get in the first car of the subway, stand at the front door looking forward, and watching the world through the motorman's eyes. It was always great fun and provided a simple rush in a little boy's life. The opportunities are rare these days, but I still love riding in the first car of a train and although the Skylink isn't a 10-car subway, it's still great fun to ride if you have about 20 minutes of free time at DFW.

Part of the fun riding the Skylink is that
it is on the airside of DFW and you get
great views of planes and things.
From DFW website.

And so, for a little while, I was able to enjoy three simple pleasures in life all at once: 1) alone time with my wife with no cares in the world; 2) watching the comings and goings of planes going to all corners of the US and international destinations; and, 3) riding in the front of the train. What could be better than that?

Updated: 07/08/2013; corrected minor typos.

Listen to the Rhythm of the Falling Rain

I used to love listening to the rain fall on my windshield as I drive. Go faster...splat...splat...splat. Go slower...splat......splat.........splat. Stop at a red light and there might be hardly any raindrops hitting the windshield at all.

But since I lost hearing on one side and there's a near-constant ringing in my head, the falling rain no longer is an enjoyable experience. It's not just more background noise, it's causing the ringing to spike. Oh, for the days of yore. <big sigh>

Flying as an Adventure

Long, congested drive to the airport. Long, frustrating search for a parking space. Long, tiring hike to the terminal. Long, slow wait winding through the security checkpoint. Long, delayed arrival of inbound flight. Long, delayed boarding and pushback of my flight. Long, sleepy time on the tarmac waiting to taxi. Long, slow creep up to the runway.

Then it happens. The plane turns onto the active runway. The engines spool up. The brakes release. We roll, slowly at first, but quickly we gain speed. Soon we reach V(R) and the nose pitches up. The bumpy ride down the runway ends as the main gear lifts off the pavement. A huge bank to the left while still climbing makes the plane feel like a roller coaster. At this point, I remember why I always loved to fly and why I love airplanes.

Granted, this isn't the most fun way to fly (commercially), but since I don't have a pilot's license, don't have access to a corporate jet, and don't own a classic warbird, this is the best I've got. And I love it anyway.

Things I saw that thrilled me on this flight:

• A summer squall moving into the city just as we take off
• Clouds above and below us as the same time
• The top of a business jet at a lower altitude as we crossed paths
• The bottom of an airliner at a higher altitude, loaded with people going in the opposite direction; and I wondered what their stories were and where they were going
• Cloud lightning as we skirted a line of thunderstorms
• A rift in the space-time continuum (okay, maybe not, but can't I imagine that for a few seconds?)

  

  Possible rift in the space-time continuum?

• The tops of clouds that looked like waves in the ocean
• A beautiful sunset that we chased for miles, which never really ended until we began our final descent
• Dark patches of our nation where there were few man-made lights until we flew over a town lit up and visible for miles around
• Long rivers of headlights as we made our final approach

I think too many people view flying commercial aviation as a nuisance. Maybe it is, but every time I take off, I think about that poem that begins "Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth." Regardless how commonplace commercial aviation may seem, I still think of flying as a privilege, not a right. I think about the "glamour days" of flying and what a thrill it was to greet an airplane's arrival, knowing this was a special treat.

I see flying as an adventure and I wish more people would, too. Then maybe, just maybe, we'd all have a better experience as we wait to grab our carry-on bags from the overhead bins; use the terminal's rest room that hasn't been cleaned since the morning; wait 20 minutes at the baggage carousel hoping all our bags arrived; get lost looking for the on-airport hotel because of the lack of signage; walk forever to the hotel because the one employee we could find said it was a short walk; and arrive safely in the lobby covered in sweat because the temperature is 92 degrees (with a heat index of 95) even though it's 10:12 p.m.

P.S. - It's now 5:49 a.m. and I can hear the beautiful sounds of engines whining as the day's movements begin. I wonder where they're going.

Here's a link to one of my favorite magazines, Airways, which has great articles on commercial aviation past and present. Another fun link is the Weather Channel's collection of photos called "Glamour in the Skies: Vintage Air Travel Photos."

I Love the 80s

Peter Gabriel...Huey Lewis and the News...Dire Straits...The Bangles...

My car was involved in her first accident last week. Fortunately, no one was hurt, but my car did have to spend most of this week in the repair shop. So what does that have to do with the 80s? Well, the rental car I got has Sirius satellite radio in it and now I remember why I loved having Sirius: Channel 8, "80s on 8." So I've been listening to (arguably) the best decade of music ever on my commute to/from work. And now I'm trying to get my wife to let me get Sirius again.

Erasure...Pet Shop Boys...Bananarama...Dead or Alive...Duran Duran...